Four years ago today, my world shattered. I lost my favourite human, my business partner, my muse, and my closest friend, and here began a marathon of pain and a relentless test of emotional endurance. However, on the surface, I displayed resilience, strength and composure to the world due to the heavy responsibilities handed to me that day and the to-do list my mother had given me in good faith that I would have the strength to follow through. I know I am far from alone in this kind of experience, and some of you reading this will understand what I am trying (perhaps badly) to describe. Sentences just don’t feel like a sufficient way to express the beginning stages of grief, nor the emotional turmoil of trying to repair the collateral damage in the wake of those who pass away.

Losing my mother began a profound shift in my life, it also unveiled the true nature of the relationships around me. Some unexpectedly distanced themselves towards the end of mum illness and in her passing, perhaps in denial or unable to face the immense work to be done when someone with so much unfinished business leaves this world. A difficult task even at the best of times. But their absence provided space for genuine connections and support to flourish. Initially, the disappointment and hurt of feeling abandoned was overwhelming, but with time, I learned that everyone navigates grief differently and we have no control over their choices or behaviour, so – I let go.

Amidst this whirlwind of emotions that I battled with internally, I discovered the extraordinary power of a positive mindset and gratitude. It might seem counterintuitive, to find gratitude in the depths of sorrow. But it was in those moments of profound despair that I found the superpower that lies in simply shifting my focus. Instead of dwelling on what I had lost and was falling apart, I began to appreciate what remained and what I could fix. The gentle touch of a friend, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the simple act of breathing — I also began to consciously embraced each of these seemingly ordinary moments as gifts.

The kindness shown by friends, community, and more so strangers was truly heartwarming. These new connections have redefined my understanding of friendship and family. And what once felt like a chaotic confusing storm has transformed into a period of growth (albeit painful growth) and joyful discovery.

I’ve come to appreciate the wisdom behind the saying, ‘Every cloud has a silver lining.’ This experience has taught me the importance of a positive mindset and the power of human connection. For this, I am immensely grateful to those who “showed up” in different ways for both Mum and I in her last months of illness and those who have helped me revive her incredible creative legacy which was buried by covid.

Gratitude became my lifeline, a tool I used to chisel a path through the dense fog of grief each day. I started a gratitude journal, a sacred space where I documented the small blessings that weaved through my weeks. From the deliciousness of my morning tea to my husband’s heartfelt spontaneous hugs, these moments became a source of such joy that I mindfully acknowledged and drank in.

I learned the importance of mindful living, of being present in the moment. When the world felt like it was crashing down, I would pause, take a deep breath, and search for something to be grateful for. These moments of gratitude, like tiny sparks, ignited a flame of hope and strength that kept me going. In time I re-ignited my pranayama, meditation, and yoga practices with a deeper sense of respect for their importance in my everyday.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude, however, that looks for you, can have a profound impact on our well-being. It stimulates the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which contribute to feelings of happiness and well-being. Gratitude has also been linked to improved physical health, stronger relationships, and increased resilience.

As I embraced gratitude, well… let’s be honest it was more of a white-knuckled grip on this lifeline, I noticed a shift in my perspective. The world, once seen through a lens of loss, began to reveal its beauty and abundance. My newly nourished relationships deepened. I found purpose in taking on the challenge of reviving my mother’s creations. I learned the rewarding value of giving back to my community and helping others find their own path to health and healing.

Gratitude is not a quick fix, nor is it about ignoring pain. It is about recognising that even in the darkest of times, there is always something to be thankful for. It is about choosing to focus on what we have, rather than what we lack. It is about finding strength in vulnerability, and hope in despair. It has helped me to channel the shadow of grief into productive action and to live a life filled with purpose and meaning.

I encourage you to embark on your own gratitude journey. Start small, perhaps by jotting down three things you are grateful for each day or saying them out loud. Experiment with different practices until you find what resonates with you. Remember, gratitude is a muscle that grows stronger with use.

By cultivating gratitude, you are not only investing in your own well-being but also contributing to a more positive and compassionate world. Let gratitude be your guide and watch as it transforms your life and relationships in countless ways.

It’s always hard writing about deep and layered personal experiences. And I will admit, it’s taken me a while, perhaps as I am still trying to make sense of experiences served over the last four years, but I am now trying to find the words, bear with me.

Only by us sharing the messier chapters of this complex human experience can we also exchange hope and tools to not only survive life’s stormy chapters but better cope with the everlasting shadows. The power of a nourishing community and surrounding myself with supportive people has made all the difference.

If you are experiencing grief I hope this article helps you in some way, I like to imagine those we have lost are somewhere dancing, laughing and drinking tea with those they had lost and now reunited.

With Love.

Anna Campbell XO